I cant absorb the deep, unconditional love. It feels painful.

I have always been a Prithviraj’s fan, maybe not really because I never watched any other his movies from other languages apart from Tamil.

Today, while listening to songs from Youtube, I directly came across the beauty, Sija Rose and googled to know more of her works.

That’s where Ennu Ninte Moideen caught my eyes. I have seen the banners and posters on Prithvi’s fb fanpage, but never did a background research about the movie.

I was extremely shocked to know that the film inspired by a true life event, and the lover is still alive.

It just made me speechless.

How on earth can one love someone so dearly? Someone who loved like normal couples for just a mere one year, until the parents found out and punished the lovely couple in the most painful way; strict house arrest.

How can someone never see each other for TEN years, yet still loves the person so dearly?

What kind of love is that? I tried to imagine and have a feel, No, I wasn’t gifted to feel that love.

That love, that beautiful love, is a blessings or a sin?

How beautiful it is, though never unite, yet I feel that love has won.

That love, that feared no religion

That love, that fears neither relatives nor community

What love is that?

That love, that remained young and feared no aging

That love, that remained loyal and firm

That love, that defined PATIENCE extraordinarily

That love, that faith alone prevailed

What love is that?

How to love someone like that?

Pure madness?

Should I call myself cursed since I was never felt that love, or should I call myself blessed not to go through the turmoil of being separated for over 25 years.

Kanchanamala and Moideen

One can love another eternally, when love are expressed poetically.

If I could capture
the colors that enveloped the evening,
The magic.
The absolute beauty.

Transfixed I am,
to the dance of the colors
that painted the sky.

The moon came.
after the world has chosen to fade away,
It was a little chaotic, but He made it safe and sound.
Closing my eyes, I sway..
To the rhythm of waves
The music starts to fade,
As I slowly slip into the lullaby,
and live those emotions,
The salty breeze
brings back the sweet memories

If only,
I could freeze that time
And save that nothingness moment

You, and I

You be the kissing blossoms,
I’ll be the sipping fragrance

You say all the cynical jokes,
I’ll be the laughter that rings in the air

You'll be the script,
I, the writer of the story

You be the pixie dust,
I’ll be the magic spell

You be the colors,
I’ll be the rainbow

You be the dark black ink,
That spells all the romantic words.

I’ll be the cursive writing,
That adds beauty to your song.

Together, we could be a poem,
With all the perfections.

The book that suprised me :)

Lately, I'm stuffing myself with books. Yes. There are too many books that I haven't touched. And they are collecting dust.

Plus, true readers will always read the book before presenting to someone, and another true book worm would definitely understand that no one can give without knowing the story. And they don't get offended over yellow stained pages :).  That is, we are.

i have never read book by Malaysian author. I do not know why. Maybe they were not famous and that I know none of them. Till I realised I actually bought a book by Malaysian author, The Flight of The Swan by D. Devika Bai. Before proceeding I asked myself if I want to read the book (I see now that I have little confidence in Malaysian author writing a good story).

The story started about a war in Killa (I feel boring) and I thought if it is going to be about war the whole story, I should just put down the book. I thank God I did not make such wrong move. The story was incredibly rich with culture and history. I just fallen in love with how the story goes.

The story covered up to four generations with first Captain Bhonsle in Killa running with his parents and new wife to another place when the Rani was killed. From there, the story of his kids and grandsons took place. When the Rani died, a flight of swans flew over on the sky. And, the story was busied on Captain Ramdas Bhonsle's life. The farm life they had in Champakapur and the love between his wife and him. The love was not told by describing on the physique but rather on the pure love of husband and wife. It was a wonderful read.

Imagining Penang in my greatgrandparents era made wonders too. It was not easy to imagine with many bushes and grasses and one beautiful point: the author wrote on the close relation among Malay, Indian and Chinese at that time. To be honest, something that has died in between us.

The bad habit that I have, whenever I certain books and I find it draggy, I will jump to the ending and read them, then continue back from where I left. But, not for this book. And throughout the whole journey, I was suprised, we, Malaysian have best authors, too!

Do spend some time and read the book!

I just need to talk to someone, and I found you, my blog.

I feel like crying. Cry very hard.

But I can't even weep.

My heart feels numb, yet I can feel my heart is crying. The sound is intense.

The truth is, 

I feel like a failure.

Failure because I compared myself with others.

Realising they are way smarter than me.

Yet, I can't be without comparing.

You either break that and emerge as a successful person or
you build humongous wall surrounding you

It takes one person to ruin your whole life.

It's worst when that happens during your mid-life crisis.

It's either I can't cry at all, or I cry till morning.

Yes, I feel like a failure,not able to do anything extraordinary.

A real failure.