Friday, September 1, 2017

Being indian, nt being myself

You can get a taste of hell if you are 29, born in an Indian family and not married.

That's a very painful thing. Worse when these community keep mentioning and you get influenced. That social media, you see their engagement, wedding,  first child etc.

That leaves a big impact. You start questioning yourself, your past Karma. You even compare yourself which seriously deflates your self esteem.

Unlucky, and as far as Indian community concerned, you cant do anything as you are nt sumangali, though you are pious woman.

Why the love never stays in your life?

Theory is simple.
Indian woman is mentally and emotionally dead when
i) the husband is dead
ii) she is unmarried  while her younger cousins are getting married.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

I cant find myself

Why love have to be so painful?

Why do the skies and rainbows
have to make me sail the stormy sea,
all the time?

To whom should I explain that I'm tired?
Why the same sky never brought me
an ear to listen
and a shoulder for support?

Listen,
Im tired.

I'm a normal woman, afterall.

Bit by bit, I have lost the old me.




Thursday, July 6, 2017




If I could capture
the colors that enveloped the evening,
The magic.
The absolute beauty.

Transfixed I am,
to the dance of the colors
that painted the sky.

The moon came.
after the world has chosen to fade away,
It was a little chaotic, but He made it safe and sound.
Closing my eyes, I sway..
To the rhythm of waves
The music starts to fade,
As I slowly slip into the lullaby,
and live those emotions,
The salty breeze
brings back the sweet memories

If only,
I could freeze that time
And save that nothingness moment

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

You, and I



You be the kissing blossoms,
I’ll be the sipping fragrance
You say all the cynical jokes,
I’ll be the laughter that rings in the air
You'll be the script,
I, the writer of the story
You be the pixie dust,
I’ll be the magic spell
You be the colors,
I’ll be the rainbow
You be the dark black ink,
That spells all the romantic words.

I’ll be the cursive writing,
That adds beauty to your song.
Together, we could be a poem,
With all the perfections.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Not all Dads are the best dad, like Mine

What a life without pain and grief?
A world with immature, not wise humans.

Meeting an uncle whose daughter was in relationship with a person that I had a complicated relationship is unforgettable.

I did had a thought of why he keep asking about that guy each time he meets me. Well, if he meets me, he should ask about me. To be obedient, I always feed him the answer eventhough it irritates me.

At first, when he asked me, I was shy but I realised he knew our relationship and accepted it.

Until few days back when I met him. He asked about me, and again running back to the same scenario, how is him and what is he doing.

What He did not know is that I am over it. I left because I saw as I'm not the One in his life..
There is pain where words plastered on it
There is tears where smiles plastered on it
There is hollowness where yet to be cemented.
Yet we move on and show we are strong and survived.

To his question, I answered and he replied,' Yes, my daughter also said the same, he is ba, bla, bla'.

Where it went wrong?
I admit I am possessive, and I don't believe in friendship after break up. This where my problem lies.

Answer me, will you accept to be a man's partner if you find he still keep her things and asking you to accept them? Then, you are not the One and he is not over it.

The answer that uncle gave me just tore off the little faith that I had. I got the answer of why he kept asking me about that guy.

He knew about him and his whereabouts through his daughter and yet he asked. Maybe he wants them to patch up. I assume. Don't blame me.
And, definitely as a father he is sad that his daughter had a broken heart. That was six years ago.

Would he be happy is her daughter in relationship, yet his daughter's boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's dad told her the same? That they are still in contact? And he is still checking on their relationship is good a(as friend or whatever you wanna say)? And he is happy that are still keeping in touch?

He may grief for his daughter and I felt a pang in my heart for his words. He wants his daughter to be happy.

Didn't he think that I'm also another man's daughter? I'm like one of his daughter?

All the incident mentioned took place in a temple. I closed my eyes, uttered Gods' name to give me strength and accepted that it's all His way of highlighting things to me.

Not all Dads are the best dad, like mine. Others' kids are also his kids.