The book that suprised me :)

Lately, I'm stuffing myself with books. Yes. There are too many books that I haven't touched. And they are collecting dust.

Plus, true readers will always read the book before presenting to someone, and another true book worm would definitely understand that no one can give without knowing the story. And they don't get offended over yellow stained pages :).  That is, we are.

i have never read book by Malaysian author. I do not know why. Maybe they were not famous and that I know none of them. Till I realised I actually bought a book by Malaysian author, The Flight of The Swan by D. Devika Bai. Before proceeding I asked myself if I want to read the book (I see now that I have little confidence in Malaysian author writing a good story).

The story started about a war in Killa (I feel boring) and I thought if it is going to be about war the whole story, I should just put down the book. I thank God I did not make such wrong move. The story was incredibly rich with culture and history. I just fallen in love with how the story goes.

The story covered up to four generations with first Captain Bhonsle in Killa running with his parents and new wife to another place when the Rani was killed. From there, the story of his kids and grandsons took place. When the Rani died, a flight of swans flew over on the sky. And, the story was busied on Captain Ramdas Bhonsle's life. The farm life they had in Champakapur and the love between his wife and him. The love was not told by describing on the physique but rather on the pure love of husband and wife. It was a wonderful read.

Imagining Penang in my greatgrandparents era made wonders too. It was not easy to imagine with many bushes and grasses and one beautiful point: the author wrote on the close relation among Malay, Indian and Chinese at that time. To be honest, something that has died in between us.

The bad habit that I have, whenever I certain books and I find it draggy, I will jump to the ending and read them, then continue back from where I left. But, not for this book. And throughout the whole journey, I was suprised, we, Malaysian have best authors, too!

Do spend some time and read the book!

Nevermine, time heals

I'm going to 'facebook' my problem in my blog.
I'm not furious to use caps lock and exclamation marks thousand times. No, it's not that sort of anger. This is a silent, sad anger.

An educator should inspire, motivate a student, and should know all the paperwork procedures related to their field. An educator should make learning is fun.

My case is totally different here.
I'm not hating what I studied, but the system made me hate it. The educator made me hate it. And hate her, too.
I finished my pre-viva presentation last year Sept, before the supervisor leaves to oversea for sabbatical of three months. Three months which is enough for processing my notice of theses submission.

Before she leaves, she never send my letter, instead she said, if she has found the three panels, I can straight away submit my notice, and my thesis. This, she said, the three month time is the time for them to search for examiners. so, if I have my panels, I do not need to wait for three months.

I doubted at first, but later I decided not to overdo her, she's the boss. So, she came back this January, called me to meet her and send in the notice. I, as innocent as ever, happily asked if she's found the examiner and I can submit my thesis.

"No, Renuka, you have to wait for three months". (And, that means, I need to pay the fees next month).

Not a single word I uttered. I was dumbfounded. Later, I realised she haven't found a panel, and I don't know what the heck she was doing during her sabbatical. (She said she will do all the paperwork through email).

On another side, I'm the only student to finish Masters in two and a half years under her. The rest have been there for 4-6 years. I'm not judging, but I feel something not fine.

The anger that just went silent. You can't scream, and you start hating studies.

The small funny side: you become a philosopher. To all students, work after you finish your degree. Because then you will know, what Masters you need to continue, depending on your current job. And at 25, you won't feel stressed and pressurized.

Again, no, i'm not furious. All I'm going to do is pray, ask for a calm and peaceful mind. Oh, I forgot to mention, I just finished crying. Well, that's one of the way to ease the burden.

Dear Lord, I seek refuge under your lotus feet, to give me a peaceful mind, to grant me a heart that forgives the heartless people, the strength to handle worst situations. All I need is for You to hold my hand and guide me. I trust in your decision.